Looking over what I did with my money this month, I'm... shocked?
I think that's what it is. But, in truth, I shouldn't be surprised at all.
Confession -- since I paid off my credit card and am officially credit card debt free, for some reason, I thought that gave me license to use my other credit card to pay for purchases I knew would be in my budget and, thus, I could pay off in full at the end of the month.
No, DH, no.
So let me tell you what happened. Everything I spent, I put into my spending spreadsheet. I accounted for every dollar. I knew exactly how much money I would have left by the end of the month.
It looked like I had plenty of cash. My checking account was thick (well, thick for me!) and so was my regular savings. I used my bonus to replenish my emergency fund. So I had money!
Wrong.
Because I was using another credit card that I didn't check frequently, the balance was slowly building on that card. All the money in my checking account was already spoken for. It wasn't "extra."
In fact, it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to have extra because I still put my monthly $600 on my card this month, like I had been doing. It wasn't like I suddenly had that $600 available, free and clear.
I couldn't understand it. I spent the last three years teaching myself about money and debt, publicly listing my foibles and my triumphs in a blog and preaching the gospel of Debt Hateration to anyone who bothered to listen.
So why the heck was I doing the same silly things?!
I learned a WHOLE lot about money and I thank God for the knowledge. But I still HATE dealing with money. I didn't like it back when I was making a mess of my finances and I don't like it now. I don't really like talking about money -- not about money as an exercise or a topic. Even now, to me, money is a means to an end. I couldn't care less about the money itself.
I still am not motivated by money. Seeing money grow in savings or investments is the next goal in my financial journey, but, I'm not going to lie, I'm not excited about it. Saving for the sake of saving does not excite me... not right this minute it doesn't.
I think that's why I've been acting up this month. It was like I did back when I was deep in debt. I would work so hard to pay down so little that it got frustrating. Sometimes I wanted to "rebel" and spend just for the sake of breaking free of the discipline. But then, I always felt guilty because all I was doing was postponing my goal.
So now, it's like I'm thumbing my nose at my card. "I paid you suckas off! You work for me now biatches!" But, duh, it won't be like that for long if I totally slack on the discipline I spent years building.
I made some decisions. NUMBER ONE -- the cards are gone. All but two have been cut up and I put those away. So long as they're not in my wallet, I don't use them (I noticed that when the cards are out of site, they're out of mind for me. My problem was that I continued to carry the AMEX. Why? No idea.)
NUMBER TWO -- yes I said I was on financial vakay for the rest of May, but I need to really consider my passions and find some new goals for myself and my cash, otherwise, it's just going to burn through my pockets.
Now, don't get it twisted, being in debt scared and sickened the bejeebus of me so much that I'm not gonna backslide like that! But, why just stay where I am when I can finally get ahead? Now that's motivating.
You are doing great! And it's hard to figure out how to deal with all this money stuff when you first become debt free. I know I was at a complete loss of what to do when I no longer had to send the money to Visa. You'll get the hang of it and continue to triumph! Great work DH!!
Posted by: leanne | May 30, 2008 at 12:00 PM
"I paid you suckas off! You work for me now biatches!"
That was oh so funny! LOL
"Saving for the sake of saving does not excite me... not right this minute it doesn't."
I don't think anyone is motivated to save without a purpose. It's when you have your eyes set on the end result that you push yourself to win the prize.
What are you financial priorities? What do you care about the most? Is it retirement? Max out your 401k and feel free to spend whatever is left after bills.
Do you want a x-month emergency fund? Put your monthly savings on auto pilot through payroll allotment, then spend whatever is left. If you don't meet your e-fund goal, think about the worse that could happen if you didn't have one.
Do you want to own a home? How does it make you feel to rent forever?
Dig deep and figure out what is important to you. When you know WHY you're saving, it's an easy reminder to keep things in perspective so you won't fall off track. It also helps to establish a fool proof plan (i.e. auto-pilot/payroll allotment) to meet your goals - whatever you determine them to be.
And by the way, I completely agree with your title. My circumstances may change temporarily, but it rarely has a long effect until I change my mindset. Otherwise, I backslide and repeat the same mistakes.
Posted by: Single Ma | May 30, 2008 at 02:44 PM
Saving gets fun after a while--esp. when you see the interest payments (free money!!) grow and grow and grow...(until the Feds cut the funds rate again. :( ). I see saving as a way to ensure that I can spend later (retirement, vacations, future bills), if I need/want to. It's just delaying gratification...
Posted by: Sense | May 30, 2008 at 04:23 PM
Don't beat yourself up.. seriously.
I'm not thrilled about saving either now, but seeing your net worth rise can be really rewarding.....esp with the interest payments
Posted by: Fabulously Broke | May 31, 2008 at 02:39 PM
I hear you. I fake myself out to save money. I usually say that gas is high, I really don't need it, or I can get it for another price. Needless to say that I don't have the lastest gadgets, but my savings are growing by leaps and bounds. WHY?? I figure that if I can keep this up that I can buy a Blackberry or the Ninetendo DS (the price will be lower). As much as I want a new car, I just going to ride mine till the wheels fall off before I use any of my monies to purchase one. Saving for the sake of saving is hard but just think of the alernative of being broke all the time.
Posted by: Jamillah | June 01, 2008 at 08:32 AM
One of the more important with regards to credit debt is making the right decision. Some cards offer bonuses and points that can be attributed back later. Also it is important to look for the lowest rates when it comes to cards and the banks that offer it. Cards should be paid off on time and they you can't allow yourself to be without cash when the balances are outstanding. Do not use other cards to pay off cards that are owing, this is a huge mistake made by thousands of people.
Don't be a victim. Stop credit card debt now. We can help.
http://www.stop-credit-card-debt.com/
Posted by: renemar | June 02, 2008 at 08:32 AM