I've been blessed with a wonderful experience: someone read my blog and it changed her life!
How's that for an ego boost!
Seriously, one of the reasons I started this blog was that I hoped
people would read it and tell me everything that I needed to know about
managing my finances and finally putting myself on the path to useful
wealth (the kind of wealth that allows me to help others because I no
longer have to worry about myself).
But a blog like this is more than a journal because you put things
out there and you get things back. It's not about me taking knowledge
and using it for myself -- it's about sharing knowledge and allowing
someone to gain what they didn't have before.
Meet my cyberspace buddy, Liz.
Liz "comes from money," but unfortunately her family didn't see the
need to educate her about how that happened and how to build her own
fortune. She said she never got useful advice about money beside being
told not to spend it. She asked about how to make good investments, but
her inquiry was laughed off.
Like many of us, she got herself into serious debt trouble -- it took 11 years to pay off one school loan.
Her father didn't let her starve, but he didn't teach her how to stay out of trouble either.
It's the old proverb (which is now more of a cliche): "Give a man a
fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he'll eat
forever."
She did the right thing to ask HOW to handle money. It's just a shame no one bothered to share the knowledge.
She found my blog and asked for my advice. What should her next step be?
My reaction: I was deeply flattered!
But I also thought, "This lady is nuts. I don't know anything! I'm new
at this and I hardly know what I'm talking about."
How many times have you been afraid to help someone because you
thought you wouldn't do a good enough job? What if you just did more
harm than good? But what if you did nothing at all?
I remember people asking me to tutor them in college because I did
really well in my science courses, but I declined because I didn't
think I could help them. I didn't want to screw them up.
But that was then. I realized this time that I had an opportunity to
help someone do what I was trying to do -- figure it out and make it
work.
I told Liz, "Start a budget."
Pretty lame, huh! But that's where I had to start. I told her about
the spreadsheets I made for myself. I'm sure there are better ones out
there, but these are working for me. I told her to read more pf blogs
and to visit the links I posted. They helped me out.
Liz wrote me back about a month later. She was losing her job of 10
years because of layoffs and cutbacks. My teeth clenched together. If I
lost my job, I'd be homeless in a month. Of course, I'd pack up and
move right back home and jump on the job search, but it would still be
devastating -- and humiliating.
But she didn't see it that way at all.
Her subject line: Good news!
She read my post about "Climbing out of your grandaddy's ditch."
It characterized her new outlook on her situation and her financial
future. Rather than feel terrible -- which I most certainly would have
done -- she went to the "benefits office" and discovered that there's a
lot to be said about swallowing your pride. While many people would
have avoided that kind of assistance, she used it as a means to get her
stuff together -- which is really what benefits, social services and
the like are for. They really are there to help you while you take
control of your life.
She's going to be paid while she furthers her education AND looks for work. Pretty sweet, I'd say.
Back to her family. Liz told me:
"I
had an epiphany in the middle of my family's reactions to all the stuff
that's hit us/me in March and it floored me. My family treats me the
way they do, not because I "allow" it, but because I've "trained" them
to. I became the salesperson I am - and resold myself to them. ... I'm
not wasting anymore energy convincing them to "let" me grow up. I am
the product of my own decisions now. I'm slowly becoming accustomed to
the realization that my job is not to impress them. My job is to
impress myself."
And as far as her debt: