Covetitis (noun) Strongly desiring to have, get or purchase things, but not actually having the money available to do so. Covetitis may lead a person to purchase said items anyway, leaving them in a financial bind or a mad scramble to fix the money mess it creates.
I get Lucky magazine, which, for those of you who may not know, is a magazine all about shopping, primarily for clothes, cosmetics and such. I didn't subscribe to it. I've never thumbed through it. But for the last three months it's been showing up in my mailbox. In each issue is a page covered with little sticky tabs that say Yes! or Maybe? on them. The idea is to tag up the stuff in the magazine you want to buy.
This last issue was the Fall Fashion issue. Now, for those of you who have been reading my blog for a long time, you know I LOVE the fall. It's my favorite time of the year. My birthday is just days after the autumnal equinox. I love the weather and the blazing leaf colors. And I LOVE fall fashion. Best stuff you'll see all year. So indeed I flipped all the way through this Lucky magazine I didn't subscribe to and I pulled out that sticky tab page and started tagging up the magazine -- some boots here, shoes there, jersey dress here, turtleneck with sheath dress...
I am also hankering for a smart phone. Why? Honestly, I've wanted one for a long time and was going to need one, I felt, for some of my future business plans (well, not so much plans right now. More like... visions, hopes, dreams, maybes, you know). Anyway, the one and only reason I haven't already bought an iPhone is that I didn't want to switch to AT&T (that and I can't get used to the text type, no tactile feedback). So now I am all hovering around the Palm Pre. The thought of dropping that much dough on a phone still sticks in my craw, but these things are less phones than mini-computers these days. Anyway, I covet.
Honestly, there is nothing wrong with wanting to purchase things you want. The trouble comes, as explained in the definition of covetitis that I made up, when you don't have the money for the things you want -- but you start buying them anyway.
Take me this month, for example. I pretty much flipped my budget the bird and bought jeans, tops, shoes, movie tickets, tasty restaurant dinners, random gelato and lord knows what else. I am $50 in the hole for August, with an entire week left. I could put the breaks on now, but I somehow don't think that I will. Will I be more sober in September? I won't really have a choice. Because we all know how I feel about DEBT! Not getting on that slippery slope again.
But the larger question is, what causes covetitis anyway? Why do I want want want? That's the real issue. If I knew what was fueling that, I could address it. In the past, I've noticed that when I am sad or feeling like I need some comforting, I get the I wants. When I am dissatisfied with some aspect of my life (or my self), I get the I wants. I want to be someone else, perhaps. When I don't have clear goals or purposes for my money or for myself, I get the I wants. When I feel unrewarded for things I worked really hard to do or that turned out successfully, I get the I wants.
But then sometimes I get the I wants because the weather changes! Or because everything looks so darn cute in the windows...
I think this month I have been dissatisfied with myself and what's going on in my life right now. I think if I had these things, I'd look and feel so cool and so good and it would motivate me to... I think that's where my head is.
So, when you have a bad case of the "I wants" what is that you get hankering to have -- and what is it that you REALLY want, the shopping just being the proxy for that? Share. Group therapy is good. :-)