I Want! I Want! I Want!: A Bad Case of Covetitis

Covetitis (noun) Strongly desiring to have, get or purchase things, but not actually having the money available to do so. Covetitis may lead a person to purchase said items anyway, leaving them in a financial bind or a mad scramble to fix the money mess it creates.

I get Lucky magazine, which, for those of you who may not know, is a magazine all about shopping, primarily for clothes, cosmetics and such. I didn't subscribe to it. I've never thumbed through it. But for the last three months it's been showing up in my mailbox. In each issue is a page covered with little sticky tabs that say Yes! or Maybe? on them. The idea is to tag up the stuff in the magazine you want to buy.

This last issue was the Fall Fashion issue. Now, for those of you who have been reading my blog for a long time, you know I LOVE the fall. It's my favorite time of the year. My birthday is just days after the autumnal equinox. I love the weather and the blazing leaf colors. And I LOVE fall fashion. Best stuff you'll see all year. So indeed I flipped all the way through this Lucky magazine I didn't subscribe to and I pulled out that sticky tab page and started tagging up the magazine -- some boots here, shoes there, jersey dress here, turtleneck with sheath dress...

I am also hankering for a smart phone. Why? Honestly, I've wanted one for a long time and was going to need one, I felt, for some of my future business plans (well, not so much plans right now. More like... visions, hopes, dreams, maybes, you know). Anyway, the one and only reason I haven't already bought an iPhone is that I didn't want to switch to AT&T (that and I can't get used to the text type, no tactile feedback). So now I am all hovering around the Palm Pre. The thought of dropping that much dough on a phone still sticks in my craw, but these things are less phones than mini-computers these days. Anyway, I covet.

Honestly, there is nothing wrong with wanting to purchase things you want. The trouble comes, as explained in the definition of covetitis that I made up, when you don't have the money for the things you want -- but you start buying them anyway.

Take me this month, for example. I pretty much flipped my budget the bird and bought jeans, tops, shoes, movie tickets, tasty restaurant dinners, random gelato and lord knows what else. I am $50 in the hole for August, with an entire week left. I could put the breaks on now, but I somehow don't think that I will. Will I be more sober in September? I won't really have a choice. Because we all know how I feel about DEBT! Not getting on that slippery slope again.

But the larger question is, what causes covetitis anyway? Why do I want want want? That's the real issue. If I knew what was fueling that, I could address it. In the past, I've noticed that when I am sad or feeling like I need some comforting, I get the I wants. When I am dissatisfied with some aspect of my life (or my self), I get the I wants. I want to be someone else, perhaps. When I don't have clear goals or purposes for my money or for myself, I get the I wants. When I feel unrewarded for things I worked really hard to do or that turned out successfully, I get the I wants.
But then sometimes I get the I wants because the weather changes! Or because everything looks so darn cute in the windows...

I think this month I have been dissatisfied with myself and what's going on in my life right now. I think if I had these things, I'd look and feel so cool and so good and it would motivate me to... I think that's where my head is.

So, when you have a bad case of the "I wants" what is that you get hankering to have -- and what is it that you REALLY want, the shopping just being the proxy for that? Share. Group therapy is good. :-)

DH

Comments

[Revanche]

Sometimes I think it's just boredom. The kind you get when you haven't done anything new for a long time, or when you've been looking at the same things over and over and *feel* like it's inadequate.

And I hate getting the I wants when an event comes up, like this trip to Miami, because it means I "have to" buy something new. Why??? I have two dozen dresses, at least one of them has to be good enough for this trip. But nooo, friend has to go and find two awesome dresses and now I'm stuck trying to convince myself to return the orange one. Bah.

I tend to want one of almost everything: the perfect shoe, the perfect bag, the perfect job. You know, one item that in each category that can be all things in all situations.

[me in millions]

I avoid women's magazines at all costs! Everything about them makes me feel not good enough. Makes me want to buy more things. Makes me feel not pretty. Makes me feel like the stuff I own is not good enough. I stopped looking at Cosmo and it's been uphill since there!

I wrote a similar post in June (http://meinmillions.blogspot.com/2009/06/shopping-temptation.html) and people had some interesting feedback for me.

[Jen]

I think it's because when we're kids, we associate the start of the school year with new clothes. Now don't get me wrong, we didn't have much growing up, but I at least made out with some socks and underoos and maybe a new uniform skirt. Even now, I still think of September as the beginning of the new year and I think it makes me want everything I see.

Also, if you're used to being frugal nothing makes you want to go on a plastic fueled rampage more than Lucky. I subscribe under the rationalization that it'll give me new ideas on how to wear the clothes I already have, but it usually gets worse.

[J money]

Yeah Fall and iPhones!!! Love em both :) in fact, leaving this message on the iPhone right now! On the train...w00t!

[LaShaune]

Shopping boosts endorphins - it must... I'm kicking myself right now - I had a massage in July (a Christmas gift from my dad that I finally took advantage of)...following the massage, I took my mom to the Nissan dealership - I've been THINKING of getting a new car - didn't need it, but wanted to test drive the Cube.

Let's just say 3 weeks later, I drove off the lot in a 2009 Nissan Coupe, fully loaded! I've not had a car payment since 1996 and even then that didn't last long. So learning to budget an additional $500 a month (car note, additional insurance and maintenance) is taking it's toll (and I've only had to pay 1 payment so far).

I must have been high off the massage - NEVER AGAIN.

And it only gets worse for me - like the 1st poster, I am going on a trip with my Mom (I think she's the tie-in here)...and feel that I need to have new items. So far, I've resisted the urge but I just know next week, I will be trying to scrape together a few dollars to buy a new dress.

So when I start to get that urge to spend my mortgage payment on things I don't need - I take my butt to the gym. Working out gives off the same endorphins and I usually only want to spend $4 on a protein shake afterward.

[Dreamer]

Everytime I get the urge to buy stuff I dont really need I remember that I value my freedom more than stuff.

[Paula at CreditLaw.com]

Unfortunately, we see people that had serious, prolonged periods of satisfying the "I wants" on a regular basis.

I'm sure an occasional dose is fine, but it can present some real problems. Often, many don't realize the gravity of the situation until bill collectors are regularly calling them for payment...

[The Cardmaster]

For me, when I get the "I wants" I find myself looking at electronics. Mostly stuff like computers and phones and MP3 players. I think the allure of these objects is the "newness." One of my favorite things to do is setup a computer from scratch or reinstall an operating system. My hard drive and my iTunes library constantly get glommed up with clutter - stuff that just gets in the way. When I get frustrated, it seems like it'd feel so good to just start over with a clean slate. I think there's the belief that this time around, things won't get so messy. I think a lot of things - especially in a consumeristic society - are like this. I guess it's a bit ironic that feeling overwhelmed by clutter, debt and too many responsibilities is to take on more stuff.

[BK]

LOL.. my teenager shares this same disease LOL.. maybe I'll just lock the two of u in a room together!!!

but I do have the wants.. for an entire new fall wardrobe.. yeah I got it bad and well trying to find more classes to teach so I can earn more income and go purchase that wardrobe.. I have a plan LOL

[Lisa Clark]

Oh I know the feeling - I really, really want a Pandora bracelet. I fell in love with them years ago when visiting Holland but now they are everywhere here in the UK. They do the cutest rings too! What to do.......

[Janie Out of Debt]

I stay away from shopping at all costs when I am in a want, want, want mood. I talk about this in my blog post- Getting out of Debt Rule #3 (http://janieoutofdebt.blogspot.com/2009/08/getting-out-of-debt-rule-2.html).