What Do You Do With Unwanted Christmas Gifts?

Christmas is a month gone and I had to rant about this particular occurrence.

So I stalked e-Bay to get a really nice gift for the family member I pulled in our Secret Santa. We decided this year that each adult would pull another adult's name out of a hat and buy a gift only for that adult (of course, we were free to splurge on the kids if we wanted to and spouses, I guess). We had to spend $100 on the gift -- I know that's a lot, but the folks in my fam spend so much that they don't even have on gifts that this would save everyone hundreds of dollars.

I won a signature Coach wallet for this relative. I knew for a fact that this relative was a fan of the brand, so I thought this would be a home run of a gift and still keep me on budget. I was all worried that it wouldn't arrive in the mail in time and I was a little scared that I'd get played and it wouldn't be an authentic wallet or something.

On the contrary, it was authentic, it looked wonderful and it arrived before Christmas Eve.

So, imagine my surprise when I call to check on the gift and said relative was like "It's too big."
Um, what?
"I don't carry wallets this big anymore. I downsized my handbags. Can you take it back?"
Um, no.

Now, at first, I felt bad. I thought, how could I be so dumb to buy a wallet bigger than she needed? But then I was like, hold on! I've seen her handbags and I think that wallet would fit!
So, I asked my best girlfriend what she thought. She said my relative should have smiled, thanked me and then sold it, re-gifted it or something.

That's what I thought!

But, more than anything, I was annoyed that I bought the dumb thing on e-Bay, where I couldn't just take it back. So I am stuck with it. I plan to relist it, but man!

So, what do you think? Am I the one tripping and my relative was perfectly in her rights to refuse the gift? Or was that just bad gift etiquette? Curious what y'all think.

DH

PS -- If any of y'all is interested in a bargain on a Coach wallet, e-mail me privately!

Comments

[Meagan]

This was incredibly rude on the part of your relative. Once the gift is given it is hers to sell, use, regift, throw away, or donate as she sees fit.

[Converting A Spendthrift]

I totally concur with Meagan. It was the height of rudeness on your relatives part to not accept the present.

I question her motives. What did she want in return? The cash...a smaller wallet, did she say that she already had the exact same wallet. I would tell her you lost the reciept and give it back to her, if not resell it, or regift it to a more deserving recipient

[Betty]

It's rude for her to try to return a gift to the giver, but maybe it was an innocent question so let's give her the benefit of the doubt. Even so, it is not your responsibility to "fix" the problem once the gift is given. I would have just told her that no, you can't take it back but perhaps she could sell it on e-bay and use the funds to find something that she likes.

Maybe that's not a realistic thing to say to this person... o.k., so take back the wallet and do what you need to do but don't feel bad about buying the wrong gift, buying it on e-bay, etc. You're not the one who goofed in this situation. You're the one being gracious.

[Single Ma]

I'd take it back, relist it, get some (if not all) of my money back, and would not replace the gift. Then her rude ass will be left with nothing!

[ms]

That was incredibly rude of your relative. It was completely out of line for her to be so ungrateful for the gift and to make demands like this of you.

[tiredofbeingbroke]

I would either sell the wallet on ebay or keep it for myself. However, under no circumstances would she get another gift from me period. That was very rude of her. There has to be one pocket book of hers that the wallet fits into.

This is one of the reasons why I cannot be bothered with buying gifts for adults.

[Sense]

OH NO SHE DIDN'T. That is really, really rude. I've gotten really horrible presents (ie NOT anything as wonderful as a Coach wallet) from relatives before, and I would never ever be so rude as to express anything but utter joy at receiving them--it is the THOUGHT that counts. has she not heard this?

I would not take the gift back; she can sell it and get what she wants for it.

Next time you each should make up a list of 'acceptable' items, so this doesn't happen again!

[Kat]

I am amazed by how rude she was. I would never have that kind of nerve. Wow. I would have felt really badly if someone I had gotten a gift for had said that to me, especially if I'd gotten something as nice as a Coach wallet. Rude, rude, rude.

[dreamondreamer]

wow. relative totally in the wrong, not you. i hope you can resell it; i'm sure you can on ebay. that's the thing about drawing names for gifts; even if it's among family, there's sure to be someone unappreciative.

i hope she isn't waiting on you to replace it for her. lol. and i hope you got a really good gift after all the trouble you went through!

[eden]

I agree with the rest of the commenters - that was really rude. If she's already given you back the wallet, you could try selling it on ebay or keeping it for another (more deserving) recipient. Otherwise, just say you can't return it.

[sandra]

I'll jump on the bandwagon: your relative was out of line. You're never supposed to let the giver know that you don't like or can't use a gift. If they don't supply a gift receipt, you're not even supposed to ask for one.

When someone gives me something that just won't work, I may try to figure out where to return it on my own. But if I can't do that or can't return it, I generally just donate it or give it to someone I know but the giver doesn't. And whatever I do, I certainly don't tell the giver about it.

[Craig]

With unwanted gifts, you can easily just donate them. If you want to try to make a buck, try selling them on ebay or craigslist.

[Tiffany In Houston]

I'm riding with the other commenters. Her ass is rude, I'd get my wallet back, re-sell it and put the money in MY OWN WALLET.

And if she asked I'd tell her what I did.

[Miss M]

Rude! Even if someone gives you an awful gift you should pleasantly smile and say thank you. Then quietly regift or sell it. A coach wallet is a really nice gift! My best friend got me some home decor for christmas which just isn't my style, of course I thanked her a thousand times over. Now I have to figure out what to do with it, regift or donate I guess.

[Mrs. Micah]

I think that if you're given something you don't like, you should either a) attempt to return it or b) chuck it. I'm not a fan of thinking you're obligated to hang on to something that you're not going to use.

BUT...oh no she didn't! In my politeness book, the most someone can ask for is a gift receipt. And it has to be done in a "so, I've been thinking X and I was wondering if you had a gift receipt for your lovely present which I can't use because of X." Maybe if it were in extreme circumstances (I don't know, she's in a boarding school in northern Canada and can't get to the store but can mail you the item and you have the gift receipt)...

I probably would have suggested she try to sell it herself and buy whatever she liked. If you can't find a good market for it, I'd give it back to her and tell her she's on her own.