Father's Day E-cards: Tacky or Touching?

    I bought cards for various men yesterday, all fathers and all important figures in my life. I bought cards for my cousin, my cousin-in-law, my uncle, my father (who wasn't there when I grew up) and a man who's been like a father to me and very generous toward me and my family.
    I spent considerable time picking out cards that suited each of their personalities and that conveyed my own feelings appropriately. I chose humorous cards where appropriate, I chose religious-toned cards where appropriate -- you get the idea.
    I thought about each one. It took a while.

    The thing is, I hate buying cards.

    What a waste of money! People read them and then have little choice but to toss them. And these things ain't cheap. Unless you get the 99 cent cards (which there were none in the store I visited), I've never seen a decent card for under $3.00.
    One of these men, I sent him an e-card. Why? Because as I was addressing them to send this morning, I realized that I didn't have the right address for him. The one I had in my book was old and I didn't have time to hunt him down and get the right one in time to send the card so it would actually arrive before Father's Day (he travels out of the country a lot).
    So I sent an e-card (with an apology at the end of my sentimental note).

    But then, I thought, why didn't I just send them all e-cards? It's free and there's nothing to throw away. They get a cute note, they know I am thinking of them, I can write a personalized note and when they're done with the warm and fuzzies, they press delete and that's ok.
    So, what wrong with an e-card?

    Nothing... or everything? I felt bad that I sent him an e-card when everyone else will get a paper card, even though they're all destined for the trash -- literally or virtually.
    My fear is that e-cards, though convenient, are still, well, tacky. I send them to my friends for their birthdays. (Most of them are lucky if I even remember their birthdays, so they shouldn't expect cards or gifts.) Besides, with my friends, I can send a silly, interactive card to distract them for a few minutes at work, they delete them and move on. That's fine with me.

    But I know I could never send the mothers in my life e-cards. It would seem so crass and lazy. I even sent paper cards to two of my friends, who are also moms, because I was thinking of them and thought it would be a sweet gesture. And I found some really good ones for them too!

    Anyway, what do you all think about e-cards? And about gifts for not really real holidays in general? I mean, Mother's Day and Father's Day are great, but they're really just designed to get people to go shopping. If we express our love and appreciation for these folks like we're supposed to, then it shouldn't matter if we don't get them anything on these designated days, right?
    Or not? I know my guy "doesn't do" Valentine's Day. I know this. I also despise the commercial premise of the day. Yet, every year without fail, I'm secretly disappointed when he doesn't get me anything, take me anywhere or wish me Happy Valentine's Day. Silly, isn't it? Or is it?

    Talk to me!

    DH

Comments

[Fiona]

E-cards: I sometimes send e-cards, but only when it's a situation in which I normally wouldn't send a card at all. So, for example, if someone is having a bad week, I might send an e-card. I think the difference is that to me, e-cards are too ephemeral to truly replace a paper-based card. A paper-based card is nice because while it may eventually get thrown away, it's up to the recipient to decide when to do so and how to use it in the meantime. Like paper-based Christmas cards-- I put them on the mantle when I receive them and take them down in January. And I put any birthday cards I receive on my desk and look at them from time to time from when I receive them until about a month later. You can't do those things so easily with an e-card.

Gifts for "not really holidays": it depends on the day. I wouldn't expect to be given a tree on Arbor Day. But I think that Mother's Day, Father's Day, wedding anniversaries, and (yes) Valentine's Day deserve some acknowledgement. It doesn't have to be a gift from a store, but I think those days call for at least a thoughtful gesture.

To me, Valentine's Day is really just about showing appreciation for someone you love. All it really takes to show that appreciation is to write a note or say something thoughtful-- it doesn't have to cost a dime-- and yet it can make such a difference to the other person and for the relationship. To me, making a point of not acknowledging Valentine's Day is the same as deliberately being grumpy. There are enough unhappy things in life that I personally think it's worth it to celebrate a holiday that's about acknowledging and supporting loving relationships.

[Debt Hater]

Fiona, all valid points.
And, if someone gave me a tree on Arbor Day, I would think they were on drugs or something!

[Mrs. Micah]

I tend to go with ecards or homemade cards or both (if I will see them shortly afterward, I'll send an ecard for the day of and then bring one). It's hard to find a card that says what I really mean. And they're not exactly going to keep the card. I may switch to celebratory e-mails instead of ecards because they're even more personal.

[Raul Ray]

Nice thought!! Card is really a best way to express our felling. Got a perfect card from Hallmark to give my dad on father's day.

[Twiggers]

It's all about remembering the person and acknowledging them. I don't do ecards or regular cards...instead I call! I know my Dad would rather talk to me than get a piece of paper or an email!! In my opinion, the best way to express how you feel is to tell the person! Why let Hallmark do it for you :-)

[budgetsaresexy]

I say fold up a piece of paper in 4 ways (circa 3rd grade) and draw a doodle and a note. People LOVE reading personally made stuff...and they may even save it!

[Mary]

Here are some nice article ecards for Father's Day. If you don't have time to spend a paper card, you may want to check it out.

http://www.squidoo.com/father-day-ecards