For two months, I haven't set foot in the gym. I've been paying each month, but part of me is so lazy that I didn't even care.
Both me and my guy got quite lazy.
But he finally got sick of wasting the money and has been going back to the gym for the past two weeks. The regulars asked where had he been and asked when I was coming back.
That week, I said, and that was last week.
Tuesday morning, he got up before the sun was out, before the sky had even begun to lighten. It woke me up. I was awake, but I DID NOT want to get up. Harumph! I want to stay curled up under the sheets in sweet, oblivious sleep.
He flipped the lights on (which is somewhat rude since I was sleeping) and packed his gym bag and got dressed. I pretended to still be asleep, sliding under the covers to keep the light out of my eyes, trying, in fact, to go BACK to sleep.
"DH, every time you skip the gym, you are throwing money away," the smarter part of my brain said.
"Shut up!" the dumber part of my brain replied. "I want to stay in bed."
"Yeah, what about all the extra food you've been putting away? The Coca-Colas at work? The cookies you bake? The lunch you buy out more often than you used to? All the wine? You think those calories are just going to evaporate into the atmosphere?"
"Yeah, I'm going to tie it down in June. Cut back and I'll be straight, just like I did before."
"Mmm hmm, tell that to the extra cushion on your butt."
"Shut up! Besides, my guy is black, he likes the extra cushion."
"Yeah he does, but he's also the same dude who asked you last week when you were going back to the gym with him."
"Ok DH, how about this. Your back is hurting again. You know when you were working out it felt better. You need to strengthen your core."
"It's feeling a little better..."
"Um, wasn't that you lying on your back a few days ago biting your lip trying not to whimper because not only did it hurt in the lower back, but your muscles were all tense up around your neck the way they used to do... when you weren't exercising."
"Shut up brain."
"We both know you hate going to the gym, until you get a rhythm going, then it's easy. You just need to get over the hump."
"No, I just hate going to the gym. Always have, truth be told."
"Whatever, you need to do something. You hate losing money on stupid things. Well, you signed up for the gym. You're paying every month. Just go."
"AAAARRRGGHHH!! Fine! But not this morning, I'm tired from the trip."
"Fine, but you are getting your butt up the next morning your guy gets up to go. Got it sister!"
So my guy kissed me good-bye and turned off the lights, heading into the darkness to the gym. I rolled over and was jubilant to still be in bed. But, that was my last hurrah. I'll be back on the elliptical before the week is out.
No sense in throwing away my hard earned money. And no sense in watching those chili cheese fries spread like an oil slick across my derriere. I'm still slim, so let's try to keep it that way for a little while longer!