I'm in my gown kissing my dapper groom in his custom-made suit while our mothers cry and our friends cheer.
Then photographer's camera flashes hundreds of times and when he's done, we'll look like models in some glossy magazine -- a couple almost too good to be true.
We'd feast with our loved ones and listen to our personal playlist blaring out of the speakers. After the official celebration, we'd gather with our younger, mostly single, buddies and head out, dressed to the nines, to a sophisticated night spot to toast, dance and party before the sun rose on our first full day as husband and wife.
At least, that's how I envisioned it.
But that's not how it's going to happen it seems.
Right before my guy left, I had give him back the money he had given me for the wedding to tide him over between the move, securing an apartment and continuing the job search.
It hurt to have to do that, but that was our financial reality.
After that, I realized that I really dug my hole deeper charging my laptop (on AMEX with a 12.99% rate. Duh). I paid off my AMEX with some of the money I had saved in our wedding account.
As of right now, there's about $500 left in the account. And, honestly, I'm about to put that on my credit card too.
We had a long talk a few weeks ago about it. We had a good plan and were on track to pay cash for our dream wedding. God, we were so close... but things did not work out the way we hoped. And now, I think the wedding we envisioned is out of the question unless we postpone it for another year at least.
I don't want to do that. We've worked hard on our relationship to have a successful marriage. The wedding, despite our hopes, is going to have to be scaled down considerably.
I already have the dress. He's getting a suit custom made. No reason we can't put both to good use... we just won't be feeding 100+ people to celebrate our nuptials. And we probably won't be able to afford the fancy photog I had hoped for (I LOVED this dude's work...). And, we may not be able to do it in my beloved NYC. Damn.
You know what's funny? I think he's more disappointed than I am! At this point, I just want to marry my guy. I don't really care about everything else.
Still, there's a little twinge in my heart when I think about it. We were so smart about saving for it. Now, it won't happen just the way we wanted. Not without a miracle!